The *NEW* Islamic Guidelines On Slave-Sex

I kind of feel like in all the Trump vs. Hillary, who-has-the-right-to-bring-up-Bill’s-philandering, war on women, women abused by men in power, garbage that has been floating around the media universe in the last couple of days…

We may have missed the point:

The new rules

1. It is not permissible for the owner of a female captive to have intercourse with her until after she has had menstrual cycle and becomes clean.
2. If she does not menstruate and is pregnant, he is not allowed to have intercourse with her until after she has given birth.
3. It is not permissible to cause her to abort if she is pregnant.
4. If the owner of a female captive releases her, only he can have intercourse with her and he cannot allow someone else to have intercourse with her.
5. If the owner of a female captive, who has a daughter suitable for intercourse, has sexual relations with the latter, he is not permitted to have intercourse with her mother and she is permanently off limits to him. Should he have intercourse with her mother then he is not permitted to have intercourse with her daughter and she is to be off-limits to him.
6. The owner of two sisters is not allowed to have intercourse with both of them; rather he may only have intercourse with just one. The other sister is to be had by him, if he were to relinquish ownership of the first sister by selling her, giving her away or releasing her.
7. If the female captive is owned by a father, his son cannot have intercourse with her and vice-versa. Moreover, intercourse with his wife’s female captive is also not permissible.
8. If a father had intercourse with his female captive then gave her away or sold her to his son, he is no longer permitted to have intercourse with her.
9. If the female captive becomes pregnant by her owner, he cannot sell her and she is released after his death.
10. If the owner releases his female captive then he is not permitted to have intercourse with her afterwards because she has become free and is no longer his property.
11. If two or more individuals are involved in purchasing a female captive, none of them are permitted to have sex with her because she is part of a joint ownership.
12. It is not permissible to have intercourse with a female captive during her menstrual cycle.
13. It is not permissible top have anal sex with a female captive.
14. The owner of a female captive should show compassion towards her, be kind to her, not humiliate her and not assign her work she is unable to perform.
15. The owner of a female captive should not sell her to an individual whom he knows will treat her badly or do unto her what Allah has forbidden.

Of course the Islamic professor says–none of this reflects Islam:

“Judaism, Christianity, Greek, Roman, and Persian civilizations all practiced it and took the females of their enemies as sex slaves. Islam preaches freedom to slaves, not slavery. Slavery was the status quo when Islam came around,” he added So Islam found this abhorrent practice and worked to gradually remove it.”

Unless of course Mohammed had nothing to do with Islam:

“Muhammad was married to thirteen women, including eleven at one time.  He relegated them to either consecutive days or (according to some accounts) all in one night.  He had sex with a 9-year-old girl and married his adopted son’s wife (after arranging a quick divorce).  On top of that, Muhammad had a multitude of slave girls and concubines with whom he had sex – sometimes on the very days in which they had watched their husbands and fathers die at the hands of his army.

So, by any realistic measure, the creator of the world’s most sexually restrictive religion was also one of the most sexually indulgent characters in history.”

Maybe its just because I’m a husband and father. But I can not for the life of me bring myself to say that there is anything equal in value or worth between Islam and Christianity.

Of course from both sides of the matter–I never should.

Isn’t that the point?